


fifty shades of yellow

by baekjuhos



Category: SF9 (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Angst, Implied/Referenced Character Death, M/M, Soulmates, also i dont know why i always end up writing angsty stuff, and he just wants peace, juho is an aerospace engineer
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-10
Updated: 2020-04-10
Packaged: 2021-03-01 19:02:04
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,123
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23582026
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/baekjuhos/pseuds/baekjuhos
Summary: Juho doesn't really have the urge to find his soulmate because he's married to his work.
Relationships: Baek Juho | Zuho/Lee Jaeyoon
Comments: 4
Kudos: 14





	fifty shades of yellow

**Author's Note:**

> i dont know what kind of dumb summary that is because i feel like it doesn't really reflect what's gonna happen in the story but here we are......  
> also i think this is the shortest fic ive ever written and it honestly feels....weird? 
> 
> enjoy though ! and stay safe everyone

Juho was tired out, he had been in the lab for over twelve hours. He had deadlines coming up and he was not close to where he wanted to be with his calculations. The ring around his finger had done more harm than good so far in his life and Juho contemplated if he just couldn’t take it off.

Ever since his teenage years, the ring had stuck itself on his finger. They had learned then in school about what it meant. Juho’s ring had often switched its colour- mostly stuck in yellow. His soulmate must be some truly happy person, Juho decided. Either that or his ring was broken. Juho had also tried, countless times, to get rid off the piece of metal. He had given up years ago as he had hurt himself in the process. 

At first, he wasn’t really interested in finding his other half. He had paid no attention to the initials that had, out of the blue, carved themselves into his ring: ljy. Juho had other things to worry about, things he had deemed more important. Things like taking the qualifications test for astronaut training. It had been his childhood dream to board one of the spaceships and explore the wide, unknown and beautiful dark space known as the universe.

  
Unfortunately, Juho’s poor health made him basically fail the exam and he changed sides to aerospace engineering. In a way, he still could follow his dream; except that he was now on the ground drafting and calculating new space ships. 

Around the time of graduation Juho’s interest of finding his prospective partner sparked. The idea of spending the rest of his life with someone who perhaps shared the same interests as him did make his heart jump in joy. 

He thought back, a few years ago his ring had turned pink for a good minute. His soulmate had been basically next to him but Juho had been too slow to get a hold of them. They had disappeared in the crowd as fast as they had been around Juho. He wondered if his soulmate was watching their ring as intently as Juho did. 

Whenever Juho needed to clear his mind, he watched the colour change. In a weird way, he was already attached to the person who was waiting for him. He had no face nor a voice to the initials carved into the ring. All he knew was, that the person was clearly a happy and confident but also often jealous person. Juho didn’t know what to do with that information as the ring had turned green one more time. 

One time, Juho remembered the colour switch to a terribly dark blue. It was almost black and Juho’s heart had stopped for a second, holding his hand up against the light to see the colour better. Although he had been briefly glad that it indeed was just a dark blue, his heart sunk. His soulmate was sad and Juho wasn’t anywhere close to comforting them. So all he could do was cry, pulling up his legs onto his office chair. Juho sobbed into his knees, completely disregarding the numbers on the paper screaming at him to finish his work or the annoying blaring of his office’s phone. 

The dark blue had turned even darker, probably because his soulmate’s ring had turned most likely blue too- indicating that Juho was sad as well. It had been an endless cycle that day, basically. 

Juho had hit his thirties and still hadn’t met his soulmate. Everyone around him- even his younger brother- had gotten ahold of their soulmates. He had been asked more than he could count, when he’d get married. Their relatives really had a high interest in Juho’s love life. His aunt in particular was keen on asking too many questions. Questions like “Juho! You’re so old already, why don’t you take a break from work and search for your wife?” or “Look at your brother, he’s already getting married to his soulmate. When will you introduce us to yours?” 

Juho was annoyed, to say the least. Yes, his brother had been fast in finding his soulmate. Unlike him, Juho’s wasn’t anywhere close to him. His brother had found her in college. They had been in the same major and she had asked to sit at his table in the library, as there had been no other free space. 

Juho one time had dreamed about his soulmate. He didn’t see a face but based on the stature and voice, his soulmate was a man. At first, he didn’t know if he should believe it but in the end, he decided to hold onto the dream. The silhouette was the only thing he had, next to the three letters on the ring. 

Funnily enough, whenever Juho thought about the angelic voice of his dream, he felt like he had thousands of butterflies fluttering in his stomach. Subconsciously, a smile creeped up on his face. 

So yes, Juho had been looking for his soulmate, even in his dreams. He wasn’t about to give up but at the same time, he wouldn’t go as far as his aunt had wanted him to. 

It was just another day in his life. He went to work, sat in his office. Juho tinkered away, went through the computations over and over again until he found the mistake he was looking for. He got called in for a meeting as he was leading the project they were working on. Juho stole a quick glance at the ring calmed Juho down- the metal was sporting a bright yellow. Clearly, his mate was in an ecstatic state, which helped him to maneuver his thoughts towards a more happier path. 

In the end, the ring had calmed him down like so many times. Whenever Juho’s soulmate was ecstatic, the ring would warm up. The warmth around his finger spread through his entire body and Juho appreciated it. The project they had worked on for the past years was reaching its final state. 

“Juho, we need you to present the final form. The headquarter wants the project leader to give them an update.” 

Juho sighed at that. “Can’t I do that over a video call? Why do I have to travel all the way to Suwon, out of all places?” He pouted slightly. “Come on, Jju. It’s what the boss wants. Don’t act like I’m having fun sending you away. The rocket can’t take off until you’re back, you think I want that?” 

Of course he didn’t, Juho knew. He just didn’t like travelling for business matters. 

He had been away for a total of three weeks. He gladly dropped himself into the comfort of his own bed the second he had gotten back home. Juho had found it hard to focus on the project he was supposed to endorse. His ring had done an incredibly good job on distracting him, with the way it had turned absolutely cold against his skin. A few days ago, he really had thought the piece of metal was trying to freeze his finger and break it off. The ring had been a shade of blue he had never seen before, considering it had never changed much of its colour other than different shades of yellow and a few times dark blue. 

Juho’s mind was constantly wandering off to what his soulmate was most likely going through. 

A few weeks later and Juho’s project had been approved. All the meticulous work had paid off. He had a few days off and he welcomed them.

Juho was sitting in his bed, the covers pulled up to his hips as he continued reading a novel he had started long ago but never had the time to finish it. He had gotten quite a few letters but he couldn’t be bothered checking them, he would take care of it the next morning. 

He had been lost in the world the author had created, his imagination running wild as the ring once more caught his eyes. He took a closer look, feeling his heart sink. Surely, the dimmed light was deceiving his eyes. Juho held his hand up, inspecting the dark colour. Panic started to make its way through his body as he reached for the lamp on his nightstand. 

Dread was soon replaced by bone crushing pain and sadness. The metal had turned a dark shade of black- Juho had never known tThat there were any more tints to it. 

He felt like someone had ripped his heart out, stomped on it and put it back into its place, leaving it shattered and fulfilling no other purpose than to pump excruciating pain through his veins. Juho couldn’t breathe; his chest hurt, his back hurt; the pain was unbearable. He had lost his soulmate before he even had the chance to meet him. 

Juho had long forgotten the book he was reading, completely ignoring the loud thud resonating through his too eerily quiet apartment as he curled up to a ball. He tried to stop the tears flowing down his cheeks, soaking his blankets. He couldn’t bring himself to look away from his ring finger, the shiny, jet black metal had pulled him into a trance. Juho heard himself yell out a loud, raspy _“No!”_ when it slowly started to crumble around his thin, long finger before they fell onto his blanket. He protectively curled around the tiny pile, letting the devastating pain take control of him, of his body. He didn’t sleep that night as the tears continued flowing. 

The night had been long, Juho hadn’t caught a single ounce of sleep. His mind had been racing, pulling him into a fictional world- a world where he would’ve met his soulmate, where they’d have spent their lives together. Fighting over the remote control, going out on dates or having dinner under the moonlight on their balcony. 

As if the sun was mocking him, the bright rays hit him directly in his swollen face as it began to rise. Juho squinched his red rimmed eyes shut, he didn’t know if they were hurting because of the bright natural light or because he had weeped the entire night. 

He didn’t find the strength within himself to get up and eat, so he didn’t move a single muscle. He stayed put where he had curled up. The entire morning over, he had managed to ignore his phone, for once glad he had kept it on mute. Juho found himself in his kitchen, trying to make some tea, coffee, anything actually, to help ease his headache. The pink pyjamas he was wearing were a strong contrast to his bloated face and puffy, red eyes. He was sure his hair was going every direction and frankly, he could care less. The blazing beam nearly blinded him and additionally, made his headache worse. A relatively small envelope on his counter caught his attention. He picked it up while he waited for the water to boil. In one hand he kept the little pieces of what used to be his ring while he sat down. Juho put the tiny pieces onto the surface before he opened the envelope. 

_Hi!_ _  
_   
_I don’t know how to start this, because in every way, it’s quite weird._ _  
I saw you on TV a few days ago and my ring turned pink so….I think….. you’re my soulmate. Anyways, uh. Here’s a picture of me and...if your ring turns pink...then hey...hello….we should meet. And if not..Then I’m sorry, please pretend I never sent this letter. _

_I’m Lee Jaeyoon, by the way. And you are...aerospace engineer Baek Juho…._

_I know because of your appearance on TV, please don’t be weirded out >< _

Juho looked at the picture the stranger had attached. He saw the pieces turn pink one last time before they faded back into black. “No no no no no no no no- _no_ -” Juho’s voice had gradually gotten smaller until it had cracked, he didn’t know if he should keep looking at the picture of a smiling, very handsome male or try to gather the now ashen pile in an attempt to stop the process of losing the little bit of what reminded him of his now gone soulmate. 

Juho dropped his head onto the cold surface, trying to hold his emotions at bay, trying to keep his salty tears in but to no avail- they still made their way down his face. 

Juho had been so close to meeting his partner for life but now he was left with pain. 

_Regret_. Juho regretted not starting to look for his soulmate sooner. He felt annihilating pain and regret. 

_Please come back._

**Author's Note:**

> do you hate me?? do you?? because i lowkey hate myself for this
> 
> on a side note, i wasn't sure if it was sad enough?? like...did i manage to bring across the pain he felt?? 
> 
> as always, i always am open for constructive criticism and if you find any grammatically incorrect sentences or wrong words, please tell me so i can fix it !!


End file.
